” I have always depended on the kindness of strangers”
That is a line from ‘A Streetcar Named Desire’ Uttered by Blanche Dubois. One of my favorite plays By my all time Favourite playwright Tennessee Williams. I Think his plays, encapsulate Femininity to a core, His writing is poetry and the content not only uncovers the struggles and stories of men and women of the south so poignantly but also so romantically. Ahhh bath me in Tennessee Will you !! ( I LOVEEE IT) You can tell my love for TW is Clearly strong – Borderline crazy. But Hay what can I say…Now that’s covered let’s move on the real stuff, let’s talk about kindness.
I think in this day and age we read acts of kindness in Newspaper articles for example. Beat deed of the day etc.. In books talking of kind gestures and we watch it films heightened versions of reality where all sorts of stuff go down… now the point of this all is to ascertain, do we ever really experience kindness in our day-to-day lives? hmmm…
I think that kindness itself is a personal act that usually stems spontaneously and is done through a persons owns volition, So when acts of kindness are then expected or pre-empted it strips away the spontaneity from the giver or doer and turns the action itself (be it helping or giving ) into a transaction as opposed to an unprecedented, unforced free-willed gesture. ( *Exhasperated breath *)
Now that’s off my chest, let me tell you a little secret as hard as it is to admit I honestly, highly dislike being told what to do, it actually boils my blood. call me stubborn, but I really, ultimately like to be in control of my own actions and destiny.
That being said let’s take a walk into scenario A: If I was walking by a store and above was a banner that something like look at this little baby cat who can’t walk, Please Donate anything you can. I would absorb the information and would possibly donate toward the legs of the kitty. In that situation I wouldn’t feel like I was coerced or forced into giving, as the information was displayed and then left to me to either act upon or not, whatever I choose would be my decision and mine alone. boom.
So let’s head on down to scenario B: I was walking down Canary Wharf in London a very busy part of the city full of men in white shirts. Before me somewhat at a distance stand two women opposite one another with charity buckets in their hands. They are collecting for a charity it would seem, As I approach I hear these Woman loudly bellowing in harsh tones, they spoke in a very unpleasant and antagonizing manner, Maybe it was the frustration of being ignored or maybe it was the weather, But their demeanor was nothing short of hostile.
To the corner of the ladies sat a homeless man, he sat calmly facing to the floor, watching the feet of commuters pass him by, lightly pleading for spare change.
Naturally, I was drawn to the Homeless man sat on the floor as I felt connected to him. Being able to see him meant he was a tangible presence who’s suffering I can actually see and feel unlike scenario A, I am more inclined to help this man in any way I can. So I do. I go and get him some tea and something to munch and he says to me ‘Are you an angel’ That in itself was enough of a reward, it Made my day in an instant.
So I Didn’t contribute to scenario A; the bellowing women and their charity buckets. One, because Naturally, I didn’t have any coins and Two; Even If I did I would not have felt naturally inclined too, as their tone deterred as opposed inspired me. So if I did give I would have fallen prey to their tactic of force and antagonization and I would have been relinquished my control in that situation. Even though their cause was good their approach wasn’t. So they lost me.
Maybe a less analytical person maybe overlooked this all, but I think heavily about connection and approach. I am dramatic, aren’t I …What’s your thought on this?
So here goes my final thoughts is an attempt to Round this baby up. It was indeed very pleasing to have my Gesture acknowledged and appreciated by the receiver, it fulfilled me and I felt uplifted. We expect some sort of retort when we give, don’t we? This can usually come in either Verbal-Physical or emotional forms, but an acknowledgment of our good deep is usually key, isn’t it?
To round up, Using Scenario B as a reference point In giving to the homeless man I received his verbal appreciation through his blessings but I also was privy to his display of happiness which in turn made me happy. I now present to you this question also asked by Joey in Friends season 5, episode 5. Is there such a thing as a selfless good deed ? A deed, where in doing we expect nothing in return?
What do you think?
Join in the convo #Inspowednesday
Though that was a long read, I hope it was enjoyable, Let me know what you think.